Общински Младежки Съвет, гр. Перник

Кампанията е по идея и инициатива на Христиан Даскалов, председател на организацията. Той е и автор на пиесата "Ужасната истина", която е в основата на проекта. Пиесата е реализирана на сцената на пернишкия театър от ученици на ГПЧЕ "С. Радев" под режисурата на Даскалов. Негови помощници са Елвира Мурати и Браян Търнър. Финансирането на представленията, се изчерпва с помощта, коята оказва пернишкия театър относно декори и костюми.Голям успех съпътства пиесата, чиито озвучение, осветление, сценография и всичко останало са дело на младежите.

След доброто начало се ражда идеята за създаване на младежки театър. В момента се работи по нова пиеса с историческа насоченост, като се търсят спонсори, които до финансират кампанията.

Следва кратко описание на пиесата "Ужастната истина" и цялостният и текст.

"Ужасната истина" - "Тhe Awful Truth" е новаторска пиеса, целяща да покаже опасността от дрогата по един нов и нестандартен начин, така че посланието "Не на дрогата" да достигне до младежите".

Темите и проблемите на нашето ежедневие - наркомания, престъпност, ред и сигурност, политика, корупция са представени със голама доза хумор и сатира. Чрез усмиване на света в който живеем актьорите казват своето голямо НЕ на алчността, завистта и студенината между хората в наши дни.

"Ужасната истина" е криминална комедия със скрито социално послание, което  публиката разбира в самия край на пиесата. Героите са представители на всички прослойки на нашето общество - полицаи, съдии, мафиоти, младежи попаднали  клопката на наркотиците.

Действието се развива в наши дни. Пиесата е написана на английски език, но езикова бариера няма. Тук не думите, а чувствата и внушенията, коитоизлъчват актьорите са водещи.

THE AWFULL TRUTH

STARING:
WISE GUY DIMITRIEVICH / W.G.
PASTA “THE BIG MAMA” MACARONE / P.M.
JOEY “THE SWISS” /J.S.
SMOKEY McPUFF /S.P.
DYNA MITE /D.M.
FIDEL CASTRO /F.C.
ANTONIO FACALDO /A.F.
HONEY MOON / H.M.
THE DIRECTOR/ T.D.
SCENE NUMBER ONE:

(The action takes place on the streets of Chicago-the background is buildings.From the one end a boy and a girl who are scared and running are entering- the boy is white and the girl black , about 20 years old)

S.P.: Come on, let’s stop for a while. I think we’ve lost this old lady.

D.M.: You think! You think you say, whity ! Well why weren’t you thinking when you tried to rob this policeman earlier?

S.P.: Men, you know we needed this money to buy us some drugs.How could i know that this old lady would get out of her pocket a gun and that the stable is full of angry barbarians?

D.M.: Dude you are really high you know? First of all this wasn’t an old lady but a two meter high mustage police officer and you tried to robb him in front of the Police Department frome where the police officers- the so called barbarians started chasing us.

(They start fighting.From the corner with “spy movements” p.o. Wise Guy enters. He speaks with strong accent )

W.G.: Hold it right there you punks ! So you are the two who tried to robb my colleague “Big bird” Johnson?

S.P.: See i knew there was something suspecious about this granny- she was a bird!

W.G.: You shut up. Fortunatelly you got lucky today that i found you. By the way let me entroduce myself - i am Guy ...

D.M.: Really .What a shame . A good looking man like you to be a gay.

W.G.: Not gay, you punk! I am Guy .....

S.P.: Guy ! Ibrahima Guy ! Chee i am big fan of yours. You look darker on TV!

W.G.: Enough ! As i said i am Guy , Wise Guy!

D.M.: Hmm....you don’t sound like an American,bro?
W.G.: And you don’t sound like a person with a gun pointed in his head , do you....but you are right. Actually i am from Moldovia. I am called after Lisa Minely- she is my favourite singer. I have most of her cd-s and even a personal signature from her.Here- this is a picture of me and her ( starts singing Lisa’s song)

D.M.: Cut the crap bro . What do you want from us? We don’t have any money....here take Smokey, he doesn’t cost much but you know what – if you let me go in the next 10 minutes you will get absolutely free Smokey plus my watch. We have a deal?

S.P.: What? I am not going anywhere without my friend Dolphy!

D.M.: Face it man !Dolphy isn’t real !

S.P.: That’s not true.You are lying because you hate me , you hate me case i am black!

(They start arguing)

W.G.: Jesus you never stop, do you ? Here is the deal- in exchange of letting you free i want to do me a favour.But not only to me but to the whole society.

S.P.: Spit it out comrade!

W.G.: In a house here in Chicago there is a briefcase full of new type of powerfull drug. If this drug reaches streets it will be desastrous. Millions of people will get high and thousands of them ....

D.M.: For real . Millions getting high only from one briefcase? And what do you want us to do – to smoke it all?

S.P.: Cool!

W.G.: Stop interrupting me . As i was saying i don’t have a premission to search the house so you will get in and steal it tonight . You do this and you are free.OK?

S.P.: First of all who’s house we gonna rob.Maybe you are trying to trick us! We will enter this house and when we turn on the lights ....surprise we are in the police station. This is an old trick and you are not fooling Smokey.

W.G.: Bullshit! The house is owned by Antonio Facaldo known also as Antonio Favreto.

D.M.: Antonio , Facaldo !

S.P.: Antonio , Favreto ! Who the hell is this guy?

D.M.: This is Chicago’s godfather you fool. He owns half of the city – hotels , bars, casinos , strip-tease clubs , children gardens , hospitals . This is a trap- this guy will kill us from the moment we step in.

W.G.: Horseshit ! He is in Barbados now with his lover- Esmeralda.

S.P.: Oh yeahh – i know her from TV. She is a hot chick.

W.G.: Whatever- do you accept the deal or you are going in jail ?

S.P.: Man , OK . I am not going back in prison. My last cellmate wanted to marry me – and believe me , it is hard to say no in prison.

W.G.: What about you , Dyna!

D.M.: Do i have any choice? I will do it .

W.G.: That is my girl. Now move ! i will explain you the details on a little walk.

S.P.: Man , i am tired.

W.G.: ( points a gun) Walk , now !

(Gets out of the stage)

SCENE NUMBER TWO:

(the same street.An old lady with a wallking stick and a young strong man are entering.)

J.S.: Mamma do you think somebody lives under the ground?

P.M.: Of course , sonny . Who do you think paints the carrots ?

( in this moment one mexican looking man enters)

F.C.: Ai caramba ! Santo Cristo! Seniorita Pasta Macarone ?

P.M.: Who are you damn it ? Why are you disturbing me ?

J.S.: Mamma should i break his fingers ?

P.M.: Yeah , yeah ...

F.C.: Es hasi ! Santa Maria , but seniorita please !

P.M.: Joey i was just kidding. And you, you have only one minute . Speak !

F.C.: Mui bueno eee..... Todo claro ! My name is Fidel , eeee... Fidel Castro .

J.S.: Are you from the FBI , because mamma hates the FBI ?

F.C.: Mierta ! No senior, no . I am just a honest Mexican businessman selling laundry pags- the best in whole Mexico . There is a saying in my country : “ A laundry without laundry pags is like a pig without hair .”

P.M.: Hmm......?

F.C.: Well the sense loses in the translation but that is not important .

J.S.: Mamma he is confusing me . I’m gonna shoot him .

P.M.: For Christ sake Joey , even “Tom and Jerry “ confuses you . You can’t shoot everybody just because you are dumb.

J.S.: But mamma!

P.M.: You start speaking before you have upset my boy .

F.C.: Si seniorita , adelante . Unfortunately last night with the money i earned here in America i went in your casino and i lost even the last nickle . Now i cant go back in Mexico plus i have this little problem with drugs and i need money fast . So i was wondering ....

P.M.: I know what were you wondering . I have some work for you . If you want me to give you money you will do it for me .

J.S Yeah , do it for her!

F.C.: Si , muchos gracias ,seniorita .Of course.

P.M.: Don’t you dare interrupt me , Speedy Gonzlales or whatever your name was.you know who i am – i am Pasta Macarone –“ the big mamma “ and nobody messes with me and that is my sonny – Joey the Swiss.

J.S.: Yeah Joey the Swiss cause i once made one guy look like Swiss cheese!

F.C.: Ai mierta , muerto !

P.M.: Shut up Joey . Ahhh... where was i ? ... Oh , yeah ! Listen carefully , i won’t repeat – there is an briefcase full of enormous quantity of extremely new and never seen and tried drugs , hidden in the house of ...let’s say an old friend of mine .

J.S.: Who mamma, Uncle Al Capone ! Really , mamma?

P.M.:Shut up Joey – in the house of Antonio Facaldo . Now he is in Barbados with some Caribian bitch ., this bastard . I hope he drowns. Worms like him doesn’t deserve to live . He is a godfather – haa... he is nothing ,he is an animal! I am the godmother i am the boss!!

J.S.: Butt mamma why are you talking like this about Uncle Toni ?

P.M.: I said shut your mouth or i will make you watch “Tom and Jerry “for whole day. So you get this drugs for me tonight , deliver them to me and you will get the money. BUT !!! If you dont give me this briefcase i will turn your life into living hell .

J.S.: You are late , seniorita, i m already married !

P.M.: Ha ha, very funny ! See you with the drugs .

J.S.: Yeah with the drugs !!

( She punches him)

J.S.: What did i do ? (They exit )

F.C.: Ai ai ai – drugs and gambling gambling and drugs! ( He exits )

SCENE NUMBER THREE :

( Fidel is alone in a dark room with a flashlight speaking to himself)

F.C.:Ai ai ai . What a shame ,ombre. Here i am – robbing a house in Chicago like a bandito . Me – Fidel Castro . I used to have moral ,dignity , self-respect , future ,family and home but those damned drugs took everything from me .Drugs and gambling , gambling and drugs ! What an ass i am .
( He is angry and kicks the “hat and coat rack” .From there the briefcase falls on the ground. He sees it but he hears noises so he puts one vase onto it and hides under the table All the time he is listening what is happening and he’s trying to take the drugs.)
Damn it somebody is coming ,i better hide !

S.P.: Hey Dyna . Do you have a cigarete ? I am very nervous, i want to take a smoke.

D.M.: I got rid of this bad habbit .

S.P.: What ? You get rid of smoking ?

D.M.: No . I got rid of giving cigaretes.

S.P.: Ha ha , very smart. Oh , there is another one, look !

D.M.: Oh man , stop it . When will you finally stop with this ? There are no giant spiders in the room , but if i see one i will smash it .I dont know what i am doing here with you – you will cook my goose man.And what a man are you – you are afraid of spyders. 2 minutes ago you said there was a dolphyn flying in the room .

S.P.: What do you want . It is your problem if you cannot see them and you know what ,missy , they are my friends and you want to smash them ?You want to kill my fellows ? – ok., but i won’t help you find the drugs . I will find them all by myself and i will smoke them alone with Dolphy and Spidy and i won’t give you even one doze !

D.M.:Oh so you are leaving . Good – go butt before this i will ask you for one last time when will you give me back those 5 dollars i had lent you?

S.P.: I am so glad you won’t ask me anymore .

( Smokey turns to leave but he slips from the briefcase.While he is on the ground Dyna sees it and takes it .)

D.M.: Ok , fine . I dont care cause i found the booty .

S.P.: Damm it ,you sly puss. ( he goes to her )

D.M.: Don’t move , Smoky ! I found this so i will deliver it and get off with a whole skin .(she tooks a bannana from the tabble) Dont move or i will be forced to use this dynamite . They dont call me Dyna Myte for nothing.

S.P.: That is not dynamite . That is a bannana .

D.M.:Yeah , right . Come and check for yourself .I was making everything for us but you fool ,you. You spoiled everything man . I wanted we both take the drugs for ourselves and cheat the p.o. . But whity – you loose . Bye – bye . Stay here with your imaginations while i am drinking cocktails and sunbathing in Palma de Maiorka !

(Wise Guy enters with a gun . )

W.G.: Dont move Negro . What do you think you are doing ? Maiorka will wait .

S.P.: See my hero Ibrahima Guy is here to save me . Ha ha.
W.G.: Yeah boy you are right , come i will give you something especially for you. Come on give me your hands . (He puts him handcoffs)

D.M.: See he lied to you , jerk .

S.P.: You are just jelous , aren’t she , Ibrahima .

W.G.: Come on sister . It is your turn .

( She is looking for escape )

W.G.: Dont you even think about it !

( She surrenders )

W.G.: That is better . You are under arrest for robbery .You have the right to remain silence .
D.M.: You’ve tricked us , you snake ! From the begining you wanted to arrest us when we find and get the drugs . Didn’t you ?

W.G.: Smart punk , you are . Now you will be in jail and i will take the drugs for myself .Although i could have let you go away and still take the drugs. But i can’t trust two punks . Now the drugs will be in my safe and you in one bigger safe – the prison .

D.M.: Ha , Smoky can break even the best safe and sooner or later we will take the drugs for us .
W.G.: It won’t be soon . I will personaly make sure you will be in jail for at least 20 years .

S.P.: Butt what about the society , what about the streets you were saying ?

W.G.: Screw the society . I dont care about other people . Infact i will tell you one story . When in my country was made the new model of Mig 31 , the airplane ofcourse happened to be heavier than the previous model . And when the tests on the runway started , before it could reach the speed for taking off it bumped into the fence of the airport . The engineers started thinking of different ways how to fix this problem – to change the wings or to change the engines , to reduce the weight here and there ...finaly they made the smartest solution – they removed the airport fence .

S.P.: And how the hell is this story connected with us ?

W.G.: It isn’t . I just wanted to tell it to you . Come on - move !

( they get out with the briefcase in wise )

F.C.: Holly vergin from Guadalupe ! This yellow – belly bandito took the drugs . Without them i am dead . And now the only gringos who can help me take it are those two punks. Ai caramba...Drugs and gambling , gambling and drugs . !!!

( He gets out )

SCENE NUMBER FOUR :

( the action is in a courthouse )

D.M.: I say , you play non-guilty because of maddness!

S.P.: Why do you think so !

D.M.: The fact you didn’t want a lawyer speaks for itself.

S.P.: Hey , Dolphy will be my lawer plus i dont want to go in jail .I dont think Spidy will like it .

D.M.: Come on , you ‘ve already been once there.

S.P.: I still remember the day they caught me and Dolphy. I wrote a letter to my parents – “Mom , dad , i am not comming soon .I dont have time to write long explanations – you will learn the details from the evening news . “ Unfortunately Dolphy coudnt write .

D.M.: Of course he can’t he ,doesnt excist , neither do Spidy .

( Honey Moon is around 30 years, good-looking female judge )

H.M.: Well hello to everybody. I see some new and some old faces . Smoky my friend , i thought i won’t see you again . You should have learned that drugs are man’s biggest enemy .

S.P.: But god teaches us to love our enemies .

H.M.: To love them not to smoke them . By the way where is Wise Guy? These east Europeans are always late.

W.G.: I am here honey , lets start - we are here to destroy this two punks’ feauture not to chit – chat .

H.M.: And what exactly this supposes to mean , Wise Guy ? Are you saying i am not doing my job properly ? Cause if you are, let me remind you of your out – dated visa .Be carefull cause otherwise i will personaly put you onto the first flight to Transilvania or where ever you come from , mister!

W.G.: I am sory Honey , i mean judge Moon . I was just saying that i captured these 2 punks while thy were robbing a house and ....

H.M.:Mister Guy , i remind you to speak the truth , only the truh and nothing but the truth !

W.G.:Well i can’t tell you very much with all those prohibitations .

H.M.: What did you say ?

W.G.: Nothing , nothing i was just saying that while i was patrooling in the area , i accidently got to be infront of the robbed house . I heard noises so i went inside and arrested the suspected . After the arrests i left the house without taking any evidences .

S.P.: That is a lie Honey .

H.M.: Who are calling Honey ? I am not your wife , you punk . You better watch your mouth or i will send you in Albania with Mr. Wise Guy for life .

S.P.: For real ?

H.M.:For life !

W.G.: Actually i am from Moldovia . My mother is from Albania .

S.P.: Really , have you met Graff Dracula ? I have watched all of his movies .

D.M.: Actually he is frrom Romania and...

H.M.: All of you , enough . Let’s hear what Miss Dyna Mite wants to say about this .

D.M.:Smoky is telling the truth .

H.M.: Really ? He has watched all the movies with Dracula ! I have better things to do late in the nights than to watch some middle – aged , blood – drinking , homo sociopats who scare me to death.

D.M.:No no . I meaned Wise Guy is really lying . Here is the real story – he told us to rob this house for him , to steal some powerfull drug and give it to him. In exchange he promised to set us free.

S.P.: But he has played us . Now we are here and he took the drugs for himself .

H.M.: Let’s finish this earlier . I have an aniversary today and my husband is waiting ...if you know what i mean .

D.M.: I sure do missis...at least one of us will get lucky tonight .

H.M.: You are right sister ......oh i wish i could believe you both , but i admit your story sounds rediculous . Unfortunately this post comunistic Estonian emigrant is also a respected p.o.. Thus i will trust him . I set a bail of $ 10 000 dollars . The case is closed.

W.G.: Iiihhhhaaaaa....... you are going in jail , you are going in jail ...

H.M.: Enough Wisy or you gonna follow them .

( Wise Guy gets out. Fidel stands up from his seat at the end of the room .)

F.C.: Wait in the name of holly Mexico .I will pay the bail .Here you are . ( Gives the money )

H.M.: Good .Now i can afford the trip to the Bahamas i wanted . ( She gets out )

D.M.: Daddy ?

F.C.:Dyna !

D.M.:Daddy !

F.C.: Dyna , my daughter !

S.P.:Daddy ? Daddy !

D.M.: But what are you doing here ?

F.C.: Ai Bonita . It’s a long story .The same night you were robbing that house i was robbing it too.I had to deliver the drugs to the Mafia but now they are in this sadomito , Wise Guy ....

D.M.: And you come here to save me ?

F.C.: Well that too . But when i was hiding i heard your friend understands from safes .Since i dont know any other safe – breaker you are my last hope. If i dont take the drugs i am dead.

D.M.:You can count on us daddy .

S.P.: Ok , ok , but let’s go somewhere else . Something smells fishy here .

F.C.: Ai caramba – porfavor – that is from me, i havent washed since i got in the USA .

(They gets out )

SCENE NUMBER FIVE :

( The action takes place in pasta’s restaurant . Three tables on the stage . Pasta and Joey are on one table . Wise Guy who is disguised and pretends to read a newspaper is on another table , Smokey , Dyna and Fidel are on other . )

D.M.: Daddy , why are you allways following me ? When shall i finally be independent ? Mind your own bussiness . Keep out of my deals . You have left me and my mamma so many years ago and all the sudden you are here again .

S.P.:This jerk is your father ! Butt you are black and he is .. he is yellow !Dont tell me your mother is chinesse .

D.M.: Oh Smokey .Shut up .For one last time – he is really my father. What can i say about your parents , you dont even know them, crap .

S.P.: That is not true . I am Irish – SMOKY MAC PUFF . And i am proud . My ancestors were elves from the green lands of Ireland.

F.C.: Yeah i am from Mexico so my father should be Zoro .

D.M.: Ok , enough . Daddy i can’t understand only one thing – why did you go ask for money from the Mafia when you had $ 10000 to pay our bail . And why the hell you come here in Chicago at first – maybe some Mexican fortuneteller had told you i am in trouble and you come after 15 years to help me ( she is pissed off ) actually no , you came after 15 years to ask me for help . Aren’t you insolent , amigo , muchaco !!!

F.C.: I ...

D.M.: What the hell are you doing here ? Hmm..? Why are you my father ? How could my black mamma slept with you .

S.P.:If you ask me ....

D.M.: F.C.: Shut up !!

F.C.: Daughter , Bonita ! I have left my obligatins as a father but now i need you . I saw how good you cope with problems. Let’s forget everything . Do you forgive me ?

D.M.: Ok ok . Say what you wanna say .

F.C.: Muchos gracias . So your friend can break safes ?

D.M.:To some extent .

S.P.: Hey i am here . Why don’t you ask me ?

F.C.: Oh whity , sonny . I know you are very smart .

S.P.: Yes i am .

F.C.: I have heard you are good in breaking saves .

S.P.: Yes of course .

F.C.: So shut up .

S.P.: Yep !

D.M.: He is really good but doesn’t have a lot of brains in his head.He has butterflies in there.

F.C.:Maybe that is why he has been in jail ?

D.M.: Absolutely .One day he went robbing a bank but it was Sunday and the bank wasn’t open . He knows how to break safes not doors , so he went home .

S.P.: But the bloody police officers arrested me .

F.C.: Es hasi ! Why did they arrest you .

D.M.: Cause he was still wearing the black mask on his face . He stayed in the arrest for a couple of days .

S.P.: In prison days are like months .

( While they are speaking , Wise Guy chokes with the water he is drinking. )

D.M.: What are these strange sounds ? Hmm... Now you see , mr.Sombrero macho muchacho that i am better than him .

S.P.: What ? You say that i am not a good colleague . You think that you can do something without me . You are wrong. I always do most of the work .

D.M.: Right. You smoke like a chimney and before we get out where ever we go you have already smoked up the booty

F.C.:Hey , hey ,stop it . We have to hurry , ok ?Smokey , stop it , sit down – there are no spiders , no dolphins – calmly . Dyna ,my dauther , you cannot steal the drugs from the p.o. alone . Now the Mafia is on his feet too . If you take their stuff they will hunt you down .Lets first deliver the drugs and we’ll see how many parts we’ll devide the money we’ll get . Maybe in 2 .

S.P.: No no in 3 , we’re 3 . You want to cheat me ? Only over my dead body .

( He puts his hand in his pocket and Fidel decides he will put out a gun . actually he gets out a handkerchief.)

F.C.: Yes , yes -in 3 . Did i say 2 – caramba , no .

( Wise Guy is listening and he falls from his chair . )

F.C.: Let’s go somewhere else to think of the robbery . Here it’s not very convenient .

D.M.: Ok .

S.P.: Let’s go . Spidy doesn’t like Italian food .

( They get out . Wise Guy hurries out ,and slips . )
(Pasta and Joey were playing cards , but for minute Pasta sees the p.o. and the rest. Joey has fallen asleep at that time . )

P.M.: These guys over there were looking very strange . Hey isn’t one of them that Mexican ass i hired to steal the briefcase with the drugs ?I nose out something . Joey , do you know them . Joey , Joey , Joey !
( Hits him with her bag. )

J.S.: What , what ! Have i missed something ?

P.M.: Yeah , you’ve won the prize of the best sleeping mobster , you jerk ! How can you sleep when we still don’t have the drugs .

J.S.: What drugs ?

P.M.: I will probably die from heart attack because of you .The drugs in the briefcase . Uncle Tony’s drugs ?

J.S.: Oh yeah . I forgot about them .

P.M.: Will you remember if i slap you with the bag !

J.S.: Slap me with the bread ? What bread mamma , what bread .

P.M.: You need medical attention , you know that , sonny !

J.S.: Hey this is Uncle Tony !

P.M.: This boy started loosing his mind .

( Antonio enters- he is a 60 years old man in a suit - he sees the pasta on the table – his favourite food and starts shouting . )

A.F.: Pasta !

P.M.:Antonio !?

A.F.: Pasta !

P.M.: Antonio Favreto , Facaldo !!!

A.F.:Pasta !! ( He starts eating )

P.M.: Antonio ?!!

A.F.: Pasta!? What the ....

P.M.: What are you doing here old man ?

A.F.: How many years have passed ! ( He tries to hug her )

( Joey takes his dish with pasta and starts eating while they are arguing )

P.M.: Don’t touch me ! No Mather how many years have passed i will never forget how you left me alone with this ... this ... Joey ! And for what ? To be with your lover . By the way how was the weather there in Barbados ? At least you coud have sent me one postcard .

J.S.:Yeah , one postcard .

A.F.: Oh , Pasta , honey . I am sorrry . Now we can start everything again.

P.M.: And how if i can ask – with your lover and your business ?

J.S.: Yeah , your buisiness !

A.F.: Listen to me . I will explain you everything in 2 minutes .

P.M.: Oh i remember you were faster before . ( She is giggling )

J.S.: Mamma ,what do you mean ?

P.M.: Yeaaahhhhh , shut up ( she punches him . )

A.F.: Listen ! I came back here in Chicago 2 weeks ago and i hid a briefcase with new drugs in my old house. This is an extremely hot booty – synthetic drugs. We can afford everything with the money from them.

P.M.: Where did you take them from ?

J.S.: Yeah , where ?

A.F.: This is an old story – my lover...

P.M.: Do you start again ?

A.F.: No , just listen to me , Pasta . She inherited the briefcase from her uncle , then i killed her...and i came here with the stuff.

P.M.: What? You sgumbag!

J.S.: Uncle Toni , it’s not good to kill people .

A.F.: Let me tell you something . In my business everybody wants to be a lotarry jackpot .

J.S.: But why ?

A.F.:Cause he survives longer than everything else .So shup your mouth and don’t teach me how to be a mobster .

P.M.: Don’t speak like that to my sonny . He may be dumb like an animal but he is my son .By the way i have a surprise for you too.You think that your drugs are in safty but one p.o.-Wise Guy stole them . Now one Mexican businessman-Fidel Castro is on his heels. Did i surprisd you ?

A.F.:Definately. But how?

P.M.: Don’t ask me . I don’t have anything to do with that.

J.S.: But mamma , you told the Mexican to rob Uncle Toni’s house!

(She punches him )

P.M.:Oh, dear. You are talking non-sence again.

A.F.: But we will take the booty back, won’t we?

P.M.: Yeah, of course . We are the most powerful people here . What did you expect?

J.S.:I will help too.

P.M.: With what ? You can’t tide up your shoes alone and what about something else. Very kind of you.

A.F.: We will succeed.
(Curtain falls. )

SCENE NUMBER SIX :

( the action takes place in Wise Guy house.It is dark.In the middle of the stage there is a safe.smokey and dyna are entering . smokey bumps into a chair . they are whispering .)
S.P.: Shit !

D.M.: Quiet ! Turn on the flashlight .

S.P.: I am trying but it doesn’t work .

D.M.: It has to work . You bought it today .

S.P.: Do they come with batteries ?

D.M.: You didn’t buy batteries !

S.P.: I bought everything you put on the list – gloves , flashlight .... Sorry but you didn’t write batteries .

D.M.: Why should i put that on the list . It is like saying – buy a car with tires .

( They lit a candle . and seats on the safe , thinking it is a chair. )

S.P.: That is better .Ahhh where is Fidel .

D.M.: He said he will watch our backs from outside.

S.P.: I dont think so , with all this coke planted in the background . I am sure he is getting high right now .

D.M.: Leave this and think how to find where is the safe before we have woken up Wise Guy.

S.P.: I am sure we are close . I can almost smell the briefcase with drugs . It must be somewhere here.

D.M.: It is uder us ! ( She sees the safe ! )

S.P.: Yeahh ... it’s so close as it is under our feet .

D.M.: It is it is here , you dumm ass .

S.P.: Holly Irland , we found it . ( He sees it .)

D.M.: Quick , take the tools to break the safe .

S.P.: Damm i left it in the car .

D.M.: What are you waiting for? Go and take it .

( He leaves the stage . Dyna accidently opens the door of the safe – it hasn’t been locked . )

D.M.: If that aint luck ! The drugs are in me . I will leave those dummies with empty hands.

( She turns to go away , but Wise stops her .)
W.G.: Sorry sister , but once again i have to destroy your plans.

D.M.: What ? I can’t catch a word you say .

W.G.: What about this ( points his guy ) can you dig up , smart punk. Now give me back my briefcase.

D.M.: No way , Hose . This here is my feauture and i won’t give it to you .

W.G.: I think your feauture is in big danger right now.

D.M.: Smartass. You may have won the battle but you still gonna lose the war .

( Gives him the briefcase)

W.G.: Chickenshit ! We , the Russian spys never lose the war .

D.M.: What ?

W.G.: That’s right . I am a Russian spy and my last job was to steal this briefcase full of drugs for my country – for mother Russia . Working as a p.o. was a disguese .Whit the money my country will give me for this briefcase i will buy my family a new cook .You know how hard is to buy a cook in Russia !

( While he is speaking Smoky enters the room . he has a gun . )

S.P.: Not so fast comrade Dimitrievich !

W.G.:Well , well ... isn’t that the always smoked , Smoky ?

D.M.: Well done whity , kick his lilly ass .

S.P.: You are wrong , Wisy . In my real country – Bulgaria – i am known as agent Kolio , Kara Kolio . You are not the only spy in here, you know !

D.M.: What ? Agent Kara Coolio ? – a hungarian spy .

S.P.: Bulgarian , please .

D.M.: But i know you from 2 years . You are the lowest punk , i have ever seen . You were seeing things !

S.P.: That was a disguese. – Except for my friends Dolphy and Spidy – they are real .

W.G.:Hey Bulgaria doesn’t have spys – they are too poor .

S.P.: True . After a mission in the U.S. my country intilegency agency finished the money. They didn’t have money even to send me back in Bulgaria so i had to stay in here and continue my work. That’s when i met Dyna and started using her.

D.M.: You are realy the lowest punk i have ever seen !

S.P.:Enough ! Give me the briefcase .

( Smoky takes it . Fidel enters with a gun pointed at him . )

F.C.: Don’t move , rapido bastardo . Damn porkas !

W.G.: Jesus Christ ! Is there a gun shop opened in front of the house or what!

D.M.: Daddy , daddy !

F.C.: Shut up , Bonita . You ...you better give me the briefcase , because the last gringo who wanted to scrull me finished with broken arm .

S.P.: You dont scare me Fidel , broken arm , ha .

F.C.: Yes but the police found his broken arm in Las Vegas so vamos !

( Fidel takes the briefcase. )

D.M.: Daddy, don’t you tell me you are a Mexican spy .

F.C.: Mierta , you were close . When i left you and your motherinia to go to Mexico , i become a drug lord there .I went to the mobsters cause i knew they will lead me right to this briefcase full of unseen druggs .

( Joey , Pasta and Antonio enter with a gun , of course )

P.M.: So you’ve used me you mexicano bastardo.Antonio will make your head looks like a tortila . , you rat!

J.S.: Yeah , you rat !

D.M.: Is there a gang member reunion here or what .

A.F.: That is my briefcase , Pedro. Give it to me !
( Antonio takes it .)

P.M.: I thought it was ours briefcase !

J.S.: Yeah , ours briefcase .

A.F.:Well i have a surprise for you , both. I had lied to you – i still have my lover and i intend to retire and live with her on the Bahamas with the money when i sell this drugs .

P.M.: You old sicilian prick ! When everything is over i am gonna tell everything about you to the police .See you in the court .

F.C.: Caramba . That becomes a soup opera .. wake me up when everything is over .

(H.M. enters with a gun , how else  . )

EVERYBODY: Judge Honey Moon !!!!

S.P.: Who ?!

H.M.: What ?! Haven’t you seen a corrupted judge ! There is nothing misterious around me . I heard about the drugs in the courthouse .I just want the briefcase.Come on , give it to me , old man. My husband is waiting for me .

A.F.: I better die !

H.M.: Your wish is my command. I will count to 3 : one...two..........................

( in this moment a man dressed like a director enters on the stage. He doesn’t have a gun !!!)

T.D.: Cut !!! ( all the guns are pointed at him. ) Easy , easy. What is going on ? That aint in the script.

P.M.: Who are you ? What script ?

J.S.: Yeah ! What script ?

T.D.: Who am i ?! I am the director .

A.F.: You are not the director ! I am the director, the boss of everything.

T.D.: Come on ! Everything is over . The play was supposed to finish minutes ago
.
D.M.: Bro, this guy is drugged even more than you . ( To Smokey )

S.P.: You are right ,sister.

T.D.: Stop acting stupid . Just look at you with all those fake guns.....

S.P.: My pistol aint fake – his name is Murphy and he is my friend .

T.D.: Let’s finish this at once . Give me the briefcase !

EVERYBODY: Don’t touch the drugs !! ( Point the guns )

T.D.: Oh i see . The drugs. This is the problem ! I should have guessed when i was writing this play that these drugs can make troubles .

H.M.:The drugs are the best thing on the planet .When you take them you are the boss.....

J.S.: Yeah , the boss . They make me feel good ......

P.M.: The drugs make you feel stronger , better , .....

F.C.: They make you rich , amigo , very rich .....

W.G.: The drugs make you a star , a celebraty , like Wisa Mineli ......

A.F.: All the hot caribian chicks are with you ......

S.P.:Drugs makes you immortal , like Dolphy....

D.M.: Drugs makes you powerful ..

EVERYBODY:Drugs ! Drugs ! Drugs !

( They are surrounding the director , Antonio throws the briefcase .)

VOICES FROM THE CROWD : Let’s kill him! ; Lets smash him !; He want to take the drugs from us ; Moerto !; Death !; Moerto !

T.D.: Enough . If you wanna kill me , ok, do it .....Come on Smoky .....Do it .

( He shoots but nothing happends .)

W.G.: You dumb ass , you’ve forgotten to put bullets ( Wise shoots , but again – nothing )

T.D.: You see ... everything was a game ....just a game that gone too far. You are just actors , i am the director .See this is the audience. They have come here to watch you .

P.M.: I don’t believe you ...that...that can’t be.

T.D.: It can...come on throw this stuped walking – stick ...does it .

( She throws it and makes few steps , then sits down very confused and amazed .)

J.S.: It is a miracle , mamma can walk !!

F.C.: Santo Cristo .!

T.D.: And you , you are not a Mexican . Take this stuped mustage off .

(He take it off . very amazed he sits on the ground )

T.D.: Now you Dyna , clean , your face .

D.M.: Are you some kind of racist ?

T.D.: Do it !
( she gets a towel and cleans her face /she was pretending to be a neger/. everybody are astonished . one by one they sats on the floor and take their costumes off of them . they all bend down their heads.)

T.D.: Now you understand ! (Speaks to the actors and the audiece) our whole life is nothing but a game . Very dangerous game – full of dangers like this one

( he points the briefcase from the floor and takes it .)

EVERYBODY: No !

( They start streching their hands for the briefcase but stop and bend down their heads again.)

T.D.: ( He continue ) The drugs – they dont make you better , or stronger . They lie to you . They make you an animal . An animal ready to kill everybody just to get his next doze . Doze of death.This is the awful truth .

D.M.: If this is the death , i want it all.( the rest stops her )

T.D.: If you want it , i will give it to you .

( He opens the briefcase slowly . there is nothing but sheets of paper – the script . supprised Dyna takes it .)

D.M.: What is this ( she starts reading from it a few lines ) but that aint drugs.( she falls on her knees ,very desperated)

T.D.: (angry) Of course that aint drugs . There are no drugs . Just the idea of drugs made you all ready to kill , what about the real thing . Everythig was a lie . Get used to it – thats the real life..................(to the audience) and you....maybe you feel lied too, maybe you expected the next funny story with happy end ....but i hope you’ve learned one good lesson today –
DO NOT EVER , I SAID DO NOT EVER TRUST THE DIRECTOR.